I wanna f@#ck you like a muppet

What do muppets have in common with Trent Reznor? Nothing...until someone decides to make a truly disturbing and, shall I say, psychedelic video montage of the two.

This is worth seeing.

DREAM JOURNAL ENTRY 6/26/09

I'll work backwards with this one.

I found my self walking down a dirt road somewhere in the Carolinas, I was vacationing, and I knew I would be leaving this small backwoods town shortly. I felt obligated to find some good roadside BBQ, and lo and behold, a small smoker stand was not a block down from where I started off. I don't know where I was, but I was headed "downtown". I was also dressed, oddly enough, in the white sheets of a Ku Klux Klan member, complete with face-covering hood.

Somehow, I thought this was very funny, and not unusual. as though I was walking around dressed for trick-or-treating.

A heavy-set elderly black man drove by in an old pickup truck and looked at me with suspicion, and I suddenly realized I should at least remove my hood. I felt as though my attire was now improper, since I was heading downtown and looking for BBQ.

The BBQ stand was operated by a black man and a white man, both around their fifties, dressed in attire from the 1950s- complete with suspenders and wide-brimmed hats. The meat cooking smelled amazing, it was beef. I ordered a slab of ribs and paid the black man for the plastic plate heaped with food. One of them directed to a folding table which held various BBQ sauces and utensils. I suddenly realized that much of what lay before me, including the tables, smoker, and cash register, were covered in dark red BBQ sauce which had dried to the touch. I then noticed a man sitting in a lawn chair a few feet away from the scene, also covered in dried BBQ sauce. He wore the same type of hat as the other two men, and his hands were both resting on the chair arm rests. He resembled a strange mummy, unmoving. His mouth and nose were sealed shut, and I assumed him dead.

This didn't seem to bother me, and I began to devour my BBQ beef in earnest, complimenting the men on the flavor and tenderness of their cooking.

Then my alarm clock woke me, and I rose, craving BBQ beef.

Coincidentally, my favorite local luncheon was featuring BBQ pork as the daily special today. It was delicious, and I don't recall ever eating a sandwich so quickly.

DAVID LYNCH gives "reality television" a new look on the internet.

Whether it's a hit or a miss, David Lynch always manages to involve himself in something very interesting. His newest project, INTERVIEW PROJECT, recalls his "American Chronicles" collaboration decades ago with Mark Snow, which brought television viewers weekly slices of unique Americana. I won't go into details about INTERVIEW PROJECT, Lynch's delivery of what it is shouldn't be missed.
Enjoy.
http://interviewproject.davidlynch.com/www/#/about

Welcome to my first installment of "The Tao Remixes", wherein I tweak and reword words of wisdom to funky effect

From the Tao Te Ching, chap. 38

Who knows heaven's death?
Who knows reason's death?
He who is fearless.
He who is good.
He who hates heaven is good at laying plans,
He who is fearless of heaven will get good at laying,
may be coarse, but lets nothing slack slip through.
The way of heaven attracts the timid.
Hate heaven.

Dial "666" to support your midwestern atheists (or, drop the good guy badge)

I found this news article when I Googled "atheism news". Last winter I'd read of the bus advertising in London, and the American contacts wishing to capitalize on the idea, spearheaded by a lively young girl and promoted by Dawkins himself.

What I don't identify with (never mind whether or not I actually agree, that's a moot point) is this group's paranoia of being viewed "negatively". As if atheism is somehow "evil" or "lawless".

Oh, wait...we might one day uncover the root of all those horrible crusades and inquisitions throughout history to be none other than a vast network of hidden disbelievers. Or maybe the sexual abuse perpetrated by countless clergymen toward members of their own flock was actually a smokescreen. Atheists were so damn smart that they pinned it on the church guys and got away slick.

Unlikely.

Bottom line is: atrocities have been done in the name of many gods. People can "reform" or "apologize" all they wish on behalf of their faith, it doesn't erase the facts. That said, I find it in very bad taste that these particular atheists would lower themselves in such a manner.

Shame on you. A little backbone goes a long way.

Addendum:
Upon consideration of socialist and communist states which have also comitted murder in the name of atheism, I would like to point out that, in many other's opinion beside mine, atheism, when wielded for control of the masses, becomes a religion.
In my opinion, atheism should no more be forced on individuals than any other particular religion, in a "free" society.

THE BEARD IS BACK

Not every beautiful thing is dead which has been swallowed up in silence...perhaps it is only sleeping.

Arthur DeGobineau

Tragedy struck yet again, when a few weeks ago I accidentally erased an obvious portion of my beard. The beard I had so carefully cultivated over a few months of trial and error, first determining the correct shape by which to compliment my handsome face, then nurturing its growth, trimming in some places, allowing others more length.

It had become a work of art, a testament to my understated asthetic genius. Until I inadvertantly cropped a section of my lower left jaw. I had removed the appropriate guard to trim...something else.

But it's back with a vengeance now. And it's only getting better as it fills into all the right places. Women will quiver and emo kids will lower their gaze. Rough-handed lumberjacks and powerful men will nod approvingly when my beard walks into the room.

Are you ready?

BITCH, GET OUT OF MYSPACE!

Please note that names have been removed to protect the innocent. File under: "Problems in the aboveground".

The following exchange with a complete stranger is more than enough reason to get involved in Murdoch's machinations. Granted, it has value in advertising, but it really is so much more...



Hello,
How are you doing out there?
How is your health because that is the most important thing to me a lot...Hope all is well with you out there?If so glory be to almighty God...Who keep me and you to see today Glory be to his Name...I was attracted to your profile and i decided to write you to be friends if you don't mind. My name is Noble, i recently joined this online thing, i'm learning few things about the internet world and i hope you'd be an interesting subject to learn. Feel free to check out my profile anytime and if you find it interesting, don't hesitate to write back directly to my personal email address because i hardly visit this site often. My email address is *********

I look forward to your soonest response. Until then, take good care of yourself and remain blessed.

Best Regards,N---e.


I don't believe in god, J---'s going to hell, and I'm going to puke from your sappy message. If you want to pique our curiosity...show us your tits. Otherwise, hit the road. Nobody here needs saving.

Sincerely,
Justin

AVANT RETARD

PEOPLE LIKE US AKA Vicki Bennett, produces some of the most amusing audio and video to be found anywhere. Using incredibly bizarre, and what could usually be considered tasteless source material, she mashes elements of art and advertisment together into something truly unique. Inappropriate noises punctuate cheesy synthesized covers of outdated pop songs, while banal voice-overs from old commercials battle one another, occasionally interrupted by blasts of hysterical laughter. The samples, by themselves, would sound tedious at best; the sum of the parts, arranged in just the right order, overlapping in just the right places, is organic and clever. The effect conjures a strange opera performed by highly intelligent and disciplined African gray parrots.

Her entire catalog is available HERE for download, so show your appreciation and spread the word if you enjoy what you hear, see, and feel.
You may laugh, you may cringe, or you may crave Lycra.

BEST ADVICE

Or, maybe a quote for the day:

"If you want to get rid of someone...try being only honest with them."

BROTHERHOOD OF MAN

Reproduced from The Masonic Service Association of the United States Vol. 2 Feb.1924 No. 2

I present it here, because I feel it captures something true about the concept of "fraternity", the very human striving to identify with those of like. This fraternal stiving, embodied in Freemasonry, holds validity as a both a human construct and counterpoint to man's other need- which I will speak of in my next post.

Masonic Lodge is a symbol of the world as it was thought to be in the olden times. Our ancient Brethren had a profound insight when they saw that the world is a Temple, over-hung by a starry canopy by night, lighted by the journeying sun by day, wherein man goes forth to his labor on a checker-board of lights and shadows, joys and sorrows, seeking to reproduce on earth the law and order of heaven. The visible world was but a picture or reflection of the invisible, and at its center stood the ALTAR of sacrifices, obligation, and adoration.

While we hold a view of the world very unlike that held by our ancient Brethren - knowing it to be round, not flat and square - yet their insight is still true. The whole idea was that man, if he is to build either a House of Faith or an order of Society that is to endure, must imitate the laws and principles of the world in which he lives. That is also our dream and design; the love of it ennobles our lives; it is our labor and our worship. To fulfill it we, too, need wisdom and help from above; and at the center of our Lodge stands the same Altar - older than all temples, as old as life itself - a focus of faith and fellowship, at once a symbol and shrine of that unseen element of thought and yearning that all men are aware of and which no one can define.

Upon this earth there is nothing more impressive than the silence of a company of human beings bowed together at an Altar. No thoughtful man but at some time has mused over the meaning of this great adoring habit of our humanity, and the wonder of it deepens the longer he ponders it. The instinct which thus draws men together in prayer is the strange power which has drawn together the stones of great cathedrals, where the mystery of God is embodied. So far as we know, man is the only being on our planet that pauses to pray, and the wonder of his worship tells us more about him than any other fact. By some deep necessity of his nature he is a seeker after God, and in moments of sadness or longing, in hours of tragedy or terror, he lays aside his tools and looks out over the far horizon.

The history of the Altar in the life of man is a story more fascinating than any fiction. Whatever else man may have been - cruel, tyrannous, or vindictive - the record of his long search for God is enough to prove that he is not wholly base, not altogether an animal. Rites horrible, and often bloody, may have been a part of his early ritual, but if the history of past ages had left us nothing but the memory of a race at prayer, it would have left us rich, And so, following the good custom of the men which were of old, we set up an Altar in the Lodge, lifting up hands in prayer, moved thereto by the ancient need and aspiration of our humanity. Like the men who walked in the grey years gone, our need is for the living God to hallow these our days and years, even to the last ineffable homeward sigh which men call death.

The earliest Altar was a rough, unhewn stone set up, like the stone which Jacob set up at Bethel when his dream of a ladder, on which angels were ascending and descending, turned his lonely bed into a house of god and a gate of heaven. Later, as faith became more refined, and the idea of sacrifice grew in meaning, the Altar was built of hewn stone - cubical in form - cut, carved, and often beautifully wrought, on which men lavished jewels and priceless gifts, deeming nothing too costly to adorn the place of prayer. Later still, when men erected a Temple dedicated and adorned as the House of God among men, there were two altars, one of sacrifice, and one of incense. the altar of sacrifice, where slain beasts were offered, stood in front of the Temple; the altar of incense, on which burned the fragrance of worship, stood within. Behind all was the far withdrawn Holy place into which only the high priest might enter.

As far back as we can go the Altar was the center of human Society, and an object of peculiar sanctity by virtue of that law of association by which places and things are consecrated. It was a place of refuge for the hunted or the tormented - criminals or slaves - and to drag them away from it by violence was held to be an act of sacrilege, since they were under the protection of God. At the Altar marriage rites were solemnized, and treaties made or vows taken in its presence were more holy and binding than if made elsewhere, because there man invoked God as witness. In all the religions of antiquity, and especially among the peoples who worshipped the Light, it was the usage of both priests and people to pass around the Altar, following the course of the sun - from the East, by way of the South, to the West - singing hymns of praise as a part of their worship. Their ritual was thus an allegorical picture of the truth which under lies all religion - that man must live on earth in harmony with the rhythm and movement of heaven.

From facts and hints such as these we begin to see the meaning of the Altar in Masonry, and the reason for its position in the Lodge. In English Lodges, as in the French and Scottish Rites, it stands in front of the Master in the East. In the York Rite, so called, it is placed in the center of the Lodge - more properly a little to the east of the center--about which all Masonic activities revolve. It is not simply a necessary piece of furniture, a kind of table intended to support the Holy Bible, the Square and Compasses. Alike by its existence and its situation it identifies Masonry as a religious institution, and yet its uses are not exactly the same as the offices of an Altar in a cathedral or a shrine. Here is a fact often overlooked, and we ought to get it clearly in our minds.

The position of the Altar in the Lodge is not accidental, but profoundly significant. For, while Masonry is not a religion, it is religious in its faith and basic principles, no less than in its spirit and purpose. And yet it is not a Church. Nor does it attempt to do what the Church is trying to do. If it were a Church its Altar would be in the East and its ritual would be altered accordingly. That is to say, Masonry is not a Religion, much less a sect, but a Worship in which all men can unite, because it does not undertake to explain, or dogmatically to settle in detain, those issues by which men are divided. Beyond the Primary, fundamental facts of faith it does not go. With the philosophy of those facts, and the differences and disputes growing out of them, it has not to do. In short, the position of the Altar in the Lodge is a symbol of what Masonry believes the Altar should be in actual life, a center of union and fellowship, and not a cause of division, as is now so often the case. It does not seek uniformity of opinion, but it does seek fraternity of spirit, leaving each one free to fashion his own philosophy of ultimate truth. as we may read in the constitutions of 1723:
" A Mason is obliged, by his Tenure, to obey the moral Law; and if he rightly understands the Art, he will never be a stupid Atheist, nor an irreligious Libertine. but though in ancient times Masons were charged in every Country to be of the religion of that country or Nation, Whatever it was, yet 'tis now thought more expedient only to oblige them to that Religion in which all men agree, leaving their particular Opinions to themselves; that is, to be good Men and true, or Men of Honor and Honesty, by whatever Denomination or Persuasions they may be distinguished; whereby Masonry becomes the Center of Union, and the Means of conciliating true Friendship among Persons that must have remained at a perpetual Distance."

Surely those are memorable words, a Magna Charta of Friendship and fraternity. Masonry goes hand in hand with religion until religion enters the field of sectarian feud, and there it stops; because Masonry seeks to unite men, not to divide them. Here, then, is the meaning of the Masonic Altar and its position in the Lodge. It is, first of all, an Altar of Faith-- the deep, eternal faith which underlies all creeds and over arches all sects; faith in God, in the moral law, and in the life everlasting. Faith in God is the cornerstone and the key-stone of freemasonry. It is the first truth and the last, the truth that makes all other truths true, without which life is a riddle and fraternity a futility. For, apart from God the Father, our dream of the Brotherhood of Man is as vain as all the vain things proclaimed of Solomon--fiction having no basis or hope in fact.

At the same time, the Altar of Masonry is an Altar of Freedom--not freedom from faith, but freedom of faith. Beyond the fact of the reality of God it does not go, allowing every man to think of God according to his experience of life and his vision of truth. It does not define God, much less dogmatically determine how and what men shall think or believe about God. There dispute and division begin. as a matter of fact, Masonry is not speculative at all, but operative, or rather co-operative. While all its teaching implies the Fatherhood of god, yet its ritual does not actually affirm that truth, still less make it a test of fellowship. Behind this silence lies a deep and wise reason. Only by the practice of Brotherhood do men realize the Divine Fatherhood, as a true-hearted poet has written:

"No man could tell me what my soul might be;I sought for God, and He eluded me;I sought my Brother out, and found all three."

Hear one fact more, and the meaning of the Masonic Altar will be plain. Often one enters a great Church, like Westminster Abbey, and finds it empty, or only a few people in the pews here and there, praying or in deep thought. They are sitting quietly, each without reference to others, seeking an opportunity for the soul to be alone, to communicate with mysteries greater then itself, and find healing for the burisings of life. but no one ever goes to a Masonic Altar alone. No one bows before it at all except when the Lodge is open and in the presence of his Brethren. It is an Altar of fellowship, as if to teach us that no man can learn the truth for another, and no man can learn it alone. Masonry brings men together in mutual respect, sympathy, and good will, that we may learn in love the truth that is hidden by apathy and lost by hate.

for the rest, let us never forget--what has been so often and so sadly forgotten--that the most sacred Altar on earth is the soul of man--your soul and mine; and that the Temple and its ritual are not ends in themselves, but beautiful means to the end that every human heart may be a sanctuary of faith, a shrine of love, an altar of purity, pity, and unconquerable hope.

THE HARLEY ANALOGY

Someone asked me how I define "asshole" the other day, in reference to a conversation about a person we both know who frequently causes problems for both themself and everyone around them. This someone was offering an impressive array of psychological issues to explain the poor behavior exhibited, "brief therapy" suggestions, blah blah blah.

I remarked that I felt the whole problem is simply that she's an asshole.

(paraphrase) "Uh, well, that doesn't tell me anything. How do you define "asshole"? I mean, what qualifies someone as an asshole?"

Well, I gave a pretty simple explanation. But later on I started thinking about the whole situation and realized I probably was talking to mere air when I attempted to explain my stand. Some things really do defy rationalization, and I believe that's the way it should be. Some people cannot understand things that others just take for granted.

The Harley analogy: If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand.

This is something we just don't get here in the west. A really bad waiter is great for breaking tension between people meeting for the first time; bitching over the poor service can unite the entire table. And sometimes, after a few too many cocktails, things may get really exciting and devolve into fisticuffs.

But how could you possibly punch a little monkey?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1DBuFgt_Ug

CONFUCIUS

Said Kung the Master: "I have passed whole days without food, entire nights without sleep for the sake of my meditation, and in this there was no real use. It would have been better to have studied something in particular." Confucius, as quoted in Ezra Pound's Guide to Kulchur.

This is why Kung surpasses Siddhartha in MY book. Pound for pound (no pun intended) the practicality and enthusiasm he expresses are worth twenty Buddhas or more. Go to your local bookstore and order Confucius by Ezra Pound, his translation of The Unwobbling Pivot, The Great Digest, and The Analects. Everything that is left of the stones, the commentaries, and E.P.'s fantastic notes. New Directions Paperback, order it if you have to. The above quote is taken from the first chapter of Kulchur, also a book well worth reading and keeping.

My copy of Selected Prose fell into a friend's hands years ago, never to return. Once I re-acquire it, I'll mine it, along with others from time to time for valuable quotes to post here.

"YOU DON'T BUY THE FARM WHEN TIMES ARE GOOD, YOU BUY DURING THE DROUGHT SEASON"

Warren Buffet on the aftermath of AIG, explaining the opportunities present during volatile times. Somewhere in the book I'm reading he explains the basis for his and Munger's success as ignoring the bad advice and examples around them and sticking to rational thinking. "...we try to get fearful when others are greedy. We try to get greedy when others are fearful. We try to avoid any kind of imitation of other people's behavior. And those are the factors that cause smart people to get bad results."

When people are panicking and selling, the Buffets and Mungers of the world are calmly looking for the best buys; when everyone is spending like crazy, they are sitting and watching the prices rise and evaluating. They systematically do the opposite of what the uninformed and emotionally swayed public is doing. They have to, otherwise they don't pick up the right side of any given market.

So many lessons can be learned from this, and it goes right along with Greene's advice in the forward to The 48 Laws: controlling one's emotional responses to any given situation is critical in life.

I've just borrowed "Seeking Wisdom: From Darwin to Munger" by Peter Bevelin. Only skimmed through it thus far, but it seems like a real treasure trove. I have only a passing knowledge of Charles Munger- that his writings and speeches are featured in "Poor Charlie's Almanack: The Wit and Wisdom of Charles Munger", that he is Vice-Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway Corp., that he is Republican, and that he is an extremely wise and humorous man. His speeches are legendary.
Aside from Munger, the book also quotes Warren Buffett, Confucius, and Richard Feynman, to list a few. The one repeating theme I've noticed is: do things right and keep things simple.
I'll post a review when I'm finished reading.

NIHIL TAM MUNITUM QUOD NON EXPUGNARI PECUNIA POSIT

No fortress is such that it can withstand money

Gordon something-or-other in the movie Wall Street begins his address to a roomful of eager listeners with the simple statement: "Greed is good.", then goes on to praise his foremost virtue with all the smugness and charisma he can muster. The film actually ends very badly for the character when greed clouds his judgement and causes him to panic and sell a company prematurely, losing a great deal of money to a waiting rival. Nonetheless, I clearly remember that particular line on the lips of many who were unable to appreciate the film's message. "Greed is good."

Greed was good for the rival robber-baron who saw his revenge. Remember the Englishman? He took the opportunity presented him by the young man who realized he'd been played. The trap was laid, the bait was set, and the kill was made. Greed and panic cost Gordon a shitload of money to the patient and cunning gent. Prior to this the SEC chappies leading Charlie Sheen's character in handcuffs got to make an example to the rest of the office. Charlie's greed got them their man.

Greed is good for those who know how to recognize it as someone's potential downfall, or at least as a thumbscrew. Greed is good for the few who remain relatively untouched by it, as it surrounds them with opportunities where others would fall into traps. Greed is good.

Personally, I prefer ambition. Something more stable and all-encompassing. Ambition is more of a universal virtue. Leave greed for the common man.

The exception to all of this would be a circumstance wherein it would be advantageous to appear greedy in order to feign weakness, possibly drawing someone out or forcing them to show their hand, or perhaps to conceal one's true character for a specific purpose.

Be the fortress that does withstand money, whenever possible. And remember there's no such thing as a truly free lunch.

HYPERGRAPHIA: REDUX

On the heels of Hypergraphia, now discontinued due to severe techincal problems, I've decided to open another can of whoop-ass on the world. New and improved.

Mostly this will serve to keep me warmed up during those boring stretches between APITF posts, which have slowed a bit pending our next publicity venture. AT PLAY IN THE FIELDS will be getting some new photos within the week, Jack and I just have to coordinate our schedules for a photoshop session. One of the "unaltered" photos is currently on the Myspace account here.

I also will do a monthly blog entry on the Myspace page, just for shits and giggles. That might change at any time, though. Enjoy.